15 Questions w/ Dirty Sanchez

Conducted by IPW Webmaster Mike Frost

1 When did you break into professional wrestling?

Christmas Eve 1999. I used a crowbar and two credit cards to get past the locks on the backdoor. There was only one guard at the back and I snuck up behind him and put him to sleep with an ether-soaked rag. After that it was smooth sailing.

2 What made you want to become a professional wrestler?

I knew I wanted to be a professional at SOMETHING...Commercial Pilot was ruled out due to my stigmatism. Horse Thief was out because Im allergic to pet dander, so I settled on beating people up.

3 What was your first ever match?

First Grade, Playground...It was a 'Mask vs. Julio Franco Rookie Card Match'...My opponent was one Merle Rector. He was the kid who always wet himself, and had to wear that ONE pair of sweatpants that the nurse kept on hand for just such an occasion. This day he smelled exceptionally ripe, and he took me down with a headscissors move...Whilst his crotch was in my face, I smelled something that reminded me of amonia. Thats all I can recall.

4 Who are some wrestlers that influenced you most in the ring?

Mad Wolverine, Ratt, Venom...The list is endless...

5 What has been your favorite match?

Anytime I get some laughs out of the crowd, I feel a rush all over my body...Including my pee pee....No really...Every match Im involved in is a crowd pleaser...I just dont have bad matches...'Have Bad match' is right behind 'See the Grand Canyon' on my list of 'Things to do Before You Die'

6 Who has been your toughest opponent?

Perry Saturn's knee

7 What has been the highlight of your career so far?

Working for a fed like IPW.

8 Do you have any regrets in the wrestling business?

I had this dog growing up, and every time the doorbell rang, this dog would get so excited that it would crap on the floor. Wherever that dog was at in the house at that exact moment in time would be covered in sh!t. My father would go nuts and scream and yell at this dog until he was blue in the face. One day the UPS man came to the door and rang the bell, and just like it had done countless times before, that dog sprang to it's feet and fired out a pile right next to the cedar chest...My father was so enraged that he punted that dog in the ass so hard that it shot past the UPS guy and was never seen again...My father was so pleased that he had solved the problem...To this day, i often wonder why my father didnt just unhook the wires to the doorbell........Im sorry....What was the question?

9 What is the worst injury you have suffered in the ring?

No serious injuries to speak of...Knock on wood...Oh sh!t...No wood around me...Does Particle board count?

10 What do think of the current state of indy wrestling in the state of Iowa?

IPW is keeping Iowa on the map...

11 Why do you think the fans love you so much?

I dont know...Why do you know somebody that has a crush on me? You HAVE to tell me...Is it Dawn Sweeny? I hope its not...Philip told me she has cooties...I hope its not 'Scabby' Tabby...Please tell me its Marsha Roberts! Is it? Dont make me tickle it out of you! Com'ere you!

12 How much longer do you see yourself in the squared circle on a regular basis and how would you like to be remembered?

I hope my Wrestling Headstone reads 'Sanchez: Known by dozens, and admired by fewer'

13 How would you like to be remembered when your done wrestling?

Whoah!!! I just had a bad case of Deja Vu! Did you have it to? I couldve sworn you just asked me that question! Apparently Im not going to be remembered at ALL by the likes of you, Mr. McShort Term!

14 What do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?

A Heartbeat.

15 What would your advice be to anybody wanting to become a professional wrestler?

First and foremost, develop a cool hand signal to flash at the crowd, then buy an A-Neck, some ripped bluejean shorts, 46 rolls of black athletic tape, fanny pack, a copy of 'The best of Sabu' from RF Video. After that its just a matter of time before you get booked.

 

NAME ASSOCIATION

What comes to your mind when you think of the following people?

TS Aggressor- nude fishing, beer, and a headache from constant laughter...Bamf!

Havyk- Quite possibly the best Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Player in the world.

Johny Fitness- Alternative Lighting

Mitch Paradise- Beefier version of Cory Feldman

Steve Shettler- Bon Jovi

Rampage Ruska- Bulky Genitals

Juan Fourneau- Leaves the party too soon

Troy Peterson- 'That stuff dont bother me'...Known him for years now, and have never seen the guy sober, and I hope I never do because he is a blast.

Brian Ash- Infinitely smarter than me...Big Brother to me...

Gage Octane- Infinitely hornier than me...Another Brother to me...

S & M- Love

Brent Filmore- Jenny Craig

2nd Coming- Both better DJs than that big mamma jamma they got now...

"The Delta Dome"- Probably inhaled enough toxins in that place to floor an elephant...I love it.